Drunken Zombie feared Dead

Ive always wondered how anyone would know if someone was really getting brutalized in a haunted house. To me thats the scariest bit of all. An empoloyee beats me up before an audience then drags me behind the scene to rape me. All the while my screams for help are met with acceptance...bc its a haunted house dude. Did i mention that i dont frequent them? When I want to be truly frightened i watch the local news.

Speacking of news...this one actually cracked my shit up.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveler dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.

The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said Monday.

Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him.

A first aid team called to the scene soon cleared up the confusion. Police told the man to remove his make-up after which he was allowed to continue his journey.

"Bad Segeberg is in a rural area and Halloween isn't very well known there," police spokeswoman Silke Tobies said. "So people weren't expecting anyone to be dressed up in the train."

Potty Mouth

Her toilet runnith over. Not anything like a cup...quite the contrary. Im saying...what is this country coming to if you cant throw a fit over your toilet over flowing? Well i dont have the answer to that...but its obvious that you should avoid having cops as neighbors if at all possible.

Turns out the off duty piggy in Penn...did not appreciate his neighbor going off due to his potty peril. The poor lady faces 90 days in jail and $300 in fines! To think that our homes are not safe havens if the windows are open. Potty mouths beware. Cussing in you home could land you in jail.

Isnt this rediculous?

Kid Impaled with Utensil

After lunch this little guy decided to run around the house with his handy fork.

here is the aftermath. you probably think the fork came down on his nose right?




WRONG!!! Beware...image is disturbing....



I can barely look at it. Poor child. Bet he doesnt run with a fork ever again! He might not even run ever again. Share this with your kids...if they reason at all...it might help them be more cautious.

Bullshit Important in 2008 Election

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

bitter old lady seeks revenge

When you think of an 84 year old lady what do you see? Probably a sweet and timid soul who remembers when she could run and jump and wipe her own arse. Well not good ol Ester McCullough. She is a funny old rascal and she dont take shit from no one.
She is hell on wheels and can take your head off with her cane.

This is the second time she was arrested for assault! I hope I got some spunk left in me at 84...but ideally my medication will keep me mellow.I really truly wish we had these events captured on video for all of posterity to enjoy. Of course I sure am glad she isnt my neighbor!

Master Baiter forced to disrobe

Guess I wont be dressing my son Grant in his "mother sucker" onesie next time we fly...or for that matter I suppose I should refrain from my favorite "jesus loves you but im right here baby" tshirt anytime we want to hop a plane..and actually get to our destination in a timely manner.

point being....a young man had to alter his clothing or else be booted from his flight recently..on southwest. he decided to oblige in order to not miss his flight but the carrier is apologizing as they should. Turns out his shirt said "Master Baiter"...being the avid fisherman of souls that he is.

Yes..this shirt would have been rejected from the baptist high school i went too...but so was dancing and pants on girls!This is the second time in recent history that southwest has harassed passengers in this way..even though they do not have a dress code! How ridiculous. Anyhoo...check out the CNN article for yourself. And beware...the clothes nazis might be after you next time you wear your "who needs drugs...no seriously i have drugs" threads on the winged bird.

Oh and btw if you cant take a joke please dont check out the tshirt links at tshirt hell...its not for the faint of heart...and as a disclaimer i dont approve of all their shit....just some of it.

Woman has baby on Oct. 2, for third time

and they are not triplets! Yes this woman had 3 children in 3 different years all on October 2 (and they were not planned c-sections)! Pretty freakish isnt it. What are the odds of that? Well some statistics geek in Ohio (guess he was bored) figured out its 7.5 in 1 million! Im thinking this family needs to stay away from lightening but should definitely play the Ohio lottery (assuming they have one). Read more